When I was in elementary school, I snuck into my mom’s makeup bag and found her mascara. I put some on and liked it a lot. My mom didn’t notice at first, but I got greedy and kept going into the bathroom every so often to add more layers on- because more is ALWAYS better.
It was a solid plan, and everything was looking great. I flew too close to the sun, though. Before I knew it, I looked like an untalented baby raccoon who had broken into Sephora. Plus my mom got mad at me and stuff.
This post is about makeup, but those of you who aren’t into that (maybe boys, typically) I’ll make sure to sprinkle in some manlier sentences here and there to keep you interested as well. I’ll try not to make it cliche or sexist, though.
Guns. Barbecuing. Tool belts. Hauling stuff in trucks.
^ (see? Not cliche or sexist.)
My baby raccoon eyes experience didn’t stop me from falling for cosmetics. I’ve always loved makeup. Always. For a few reasons:
A. It’s art.
2. It’s fun.
D. It’s a good way to express myself.
E. I look much less like a homeless boy when I wear it.
One has to be careful when purchasing makeup, though. It can be all-too-easy to fall down the high end cosmetics rabbit hole, especially at first. I followed the MAC brick road a long time ago- thinking the more you pay, the better the quality. While that can be true in some cases, I have been more than happy with my Wet n Wild, ColourPop, and Makeup Geek products lately. Super cheap, ridiculously good.
I’ll further gush about why these brands are my favorites in a later post!!!
Chest hair, motorcycles, Pepsi, sports. (I’m still watching out for you guys.)
I was sent an Ulta magazine this month and was casually flipping through the pretty pages looking at all the expensive products I couldn’t afford.
Just because I found love with inexpensive brands doesn’t mean I don’t lust after stuff still.
BUT THEN I got an IDEA…
There is a way that I could wear all this stuff FOR FREE. Plus it could come off easily, and I could reuse it over and over again! All I needed was that Ulta magazine, some scissors, tape, and some mad application skillz (I meant to put the ‘z’ there. It makes me seem more edgy.)
I mean…I think this looks just as good, if not better, than if I had bought all of these. I just saved SO MUCH money.
I had no idea that I could do this. I feel like I just struck gold. I’m not sure why no one else has ever thought of this. I guess I’m more of a pioneer than I thought. I’m the first to ever start a blog, and the first to do this.
I think it’s fairly natural-looking. In some lights, you couldn’t even tell I was wearing anything.
I don’t see how I can’t start a YouTube beauty channel now. The world needs my help. Nose highlight ON POINT.
It really all just blended so nicely with my paper brushes and paper beauty blenders. I was going for full glam, and I really like how this look turned out.
And guess what? The Ulta magazine is still totally readable. Win-win. If I had a coffee table, this would be right on top opened just like this.
I also decided to give myself a manicure. WHY NOT, RIGHT? Get this- NO drying time, NO flooding my cuticles, NO smudging, and my nail beds look so long. Plus I can just take them off when I’m done. Or when I need to wash the dishes, play with the kids, eat, or do anything even remotely productive.
Why buy the whole perfume when I was given a perfectly useable sample? Is that a neck brace? Why, no. It’s not. It’s a fancy perfume.
But why stop there? There were so many paper things I found around the house. Payless? Uh, yeah right, try PAYNOTHING. Checkmate, Payless, you’re done.
Tractor pulls (??) eating meat, video games, wrestling, and chopping wood. (did you make it this far, guys?)
You’re nice to read this. Message me your address and I’ll send you some free name brand cosmetics or Payless shoes in the mail.
If you’d like to see real makeup looks, collection pictures, or if you’d like me to model more perfume samples, let me know! I read every single comment. Even the spam. I love it all.